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I should be a size 10!!!

on Tue Aug 13 2019

As I write this, I am sitting in my front room with aching legs and a back that is screaming out for paracetamol and an ice pack. Am I training for a marathon? I only run for the ice cream van and even then it’s a push. Am I perhaps starting a new exercise routine to get my body into a shape that isn’t a circle? No, I’ve simply been following the training regime that is parenthood and man is it a tough teacher.

The thing is, today has been no different to every other day. In fact, due to my daughter’s broken collarbone, it’s probably been quieter than normal and yet every muscle is screaming at me to sit for the rest of the evening and do nothing. Of course this won’t happen; I have washing to do, a short story to create, emails to return and a house to reset before the morning. It isn’t all bad though, I have Friends on in the background [Ross and Rachel were totally on a break, right?]

If you are like me, and from the regular commenters on the Wikiplacesforkids_official Facebook page, I know you are then you will know how busy being a parent can be. For me, it’s a 5am start. This is simply so I can have a hot coffee, shower and get my face on before my daughter wakes up. When she does wake up, it’s all systems go. According to Woman&Home, I should be burning around 148 calories an hour washing and folding laundry, 166 calories an hour dusting and 175 calories an hour hoovering. That’s almost 500 calories burnt simply by doing what I do before 8am. Add to this visits to the park, soft plays where I spend so much time chasing her that I get out of breath, appointments, shopping, running around and then probably cleaning again at least once before bedtime. So why am I not stick thin with abs of steel?

Well it could be…could be…the chocolate biscuits I help myself too at 3am when I have been up for hours settling my toddler who seems to turn into a  sleep hating demon when the lights go out. This would be fine if I ate one or two but I will just keep munching absentmindedly as I watch my seventh Law and Order SVU – before I know it the whole packet is gone. Of course, the two or three I shared with my little one means I shouldn’t feel guilty.

Then again it may be the influence of my mum and our bad choices. Whenever we get together for lunch, it is never somewhere with salad on the menu – unless pickles and onions count. When we are together, we head to the ok tasting, calorific guilt fest that is McDonalds or Burger King. The fish finger Happy Meal keeps my little one happy and the joy of eating without washing up is worth the calories (For those reading this thinking you will never take your child to McDonalds, it will happen and that is totally OK!)

The most honest answer is I love carbs. All the bad processed carbs like pasta, rice, garlic bread, chips and all the comfort food. When my little girl was first born, I told myself I had earned them after a gruelling 36 hour labour that ended in forceps (stitches suck ladies, am I right?) but – now aged two – I should probably look for a new reason.  Does dealing with the terrible twos count?

So, as I contemplate visiting McDonalds for the third time this month…week…day even (Double Sausage and Egg McMuffin is my guilty pleasure, what’s yours?), I wonder why I am not a toned size 10?